Winter is coming….as is the darkness. I love this time of year and unlike many I welcome the longest nights. Everything seems different at night and more focused. My thoughts, my intentions and as I delve into myself and I wait. I wait for the flicker of ME…it is time to reintroduce myself to my shadow side, the darkest recesses of my soul. The area’s that I haven’t wanted to look at and bring them to light.
Though recently it seems The Morrigan is making that decision for me, bringing situations and people into my life that is forcing me to move out of my comfort zone and address things that make me uncomfortable. I have grown complaisant in my inner work and feeling a sense of “I am ok and on top of things”. She is showing me that I still have work to do, the healing never stops and I must let go of things that bind me emotionally, if I truly wish to become the warrior I want to be.
This week’s reality – I am not a victim, I am a survivor and I have the battle scars to prove it. And for those who wish to find weakness, where there is now only strength…I say to you BRING IT ON!
This is inspired by my short stint on a jury today – the topic sexual assault. The defendants’ lawyer came at me with a vengeance when I had to disclose that I had experienced a sexual assault. He was looking for the victim who can’t handle the emotional scars that this can bring, and proceeded to tell me how I could not be objective, that I would let my emotions rule me….he was way off base. I told him I was not a victim but a survivor and I resented the fact that he was trying to label me a victim and proclaim to everyone that I was weak because of this. And that my objectivity remains intact and I will look at facts and base my decision on those facts. He let me go in the end….lol
This experience of proclaiming to all those in that room that I am a survivor was tough, even though I felt strong, I also felt very very vulnerable but I did not let that rule me. I stood strong in my power…
Just wondering what the darkness brings out for you all?
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I have been on this path for many years and the one thing that eluded me over time was dedication to one particular Goddess. I was forever rebelling against the idea. But in hindsight I fear I was not worthy of the one who lingered in the background waiting. Waiting for a time when I would step up and claim my power.
The road to dedication was a long windy road for me. Starting out by working solitaire I maneuvered my way through books, dreams and my own intuition on how things should be done. This solitary work allowed my own magical realm to be created, and from which I stayed for many many years. Though my skills sharpened, my ability to create rituals, spell working flourished when I started my very own circle. We had one rule; we all come to the circles as equals. In this setting it allowed us to grow with each other, learn from each other and heal in some ways.
My spiritual work was powerful, deep with and entirely internal. I was in my head way to much of the time. I wanted to get lost in the magical world I had created. I had shifted my focus so much inward, and in the realms where Spirit spoke to me I forgot what was going on around me. I found the real world lacking and full of disappointment, so I embraced my inner world.
I studied many different aspects to paganism, pulling from different traditions but never standing up and saying this is me and this is my path. I am an initiated Priestess of the Avalon Tradition, in the Sept of the Swan. This was a year and day training. At the time I needed focus and something to stick to, so I decided to do the work. It was very powerful and the amount if inner work that I did was very good for me. At the end on the day of initiation I was to dedicate myself to one Goddess, but I couldn’t. I still was not ready. I then switched gears branching into the shamanic realm, when I was preparing for my first trip to Ireland and heard the call of The Morrigan.
Though all of early years I faced many challenges to my spiritual path. People not understanding afraid of whom I was becoming as I moved into my power. However I truly did not know what that was until now.
What I lacked was balance, I did not know who to bring my magick into reality. I had no comprehension that I needed to get out into the world and experience things which I could bring back to my path. It wasn’t until I met my now husband that I came face to face with moving out of my head and into the real world.
It wasn’t easy, my safe haven was in my head, all of my energy I drew to infuse my workings came from within, which is good, but lacks the power of real life experience. So he opened up the door to reclaiming my heritage, my roots and dragging me into reality.
So I choose heed The Morrigan’s call and I answered, I dedicated my path to her.
Whom did you choose?
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There was a time when the only thing I was sure of was the sun rising and setting everyday, and being able to watch the moon move across the sky. If I think about it that is the only thing that was consistent in my life. It was in those moments of watching the sunrise and set, the full moon shining down on me that I felt connected to something. In this feeling of connection I felt like I was valued.
So much of the world today is about money and numbers not people. We are forced into this society to have a plan for everything. We have to know the outcome before we leap. We are losing our sense of adventure if because we have to see what is coming around the corner. I am a planner and it really gets my knickers in a twist when I can’t plan.
My husband is a man who doesn’t plan, he lives by his own rules and whatever takes his fancy at the time. He never worries about the outcomes and takes one day at a time. He is in tune with the world around him in a way that I hope to be one day. He has a need and the universe always provides without fail.
He said something to me the other day that stuck a cord. That I have lost my connection to nature, that only when I am at the mercy of the elements will I fully understand what it means to be part of nature. He is right I have lost that, but have a chance at getting it back in our adventures.
Last night was a beautiful night so I spent some time outside under the full moon, listening the wind move through the trees, the silence of the night and I once again felt the familiar feeling of connection. It truly is a daily practice of keeping connected….and one that I won’t let fall by the wayside any longer.
So where do you find your connection? I have this song running through my head….it seems to fit this blog
Wising you all a beautiful week!
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Since ancient times copper has been known as the great healing and sacred metal. Fashioned into jewelry before recorded time, copper is the first metal our ancestors utilized. Metal workers were often regarded as magicians in early societies. Copper was also a symbol of power.
Created out of fine copper, this fantastic offering bowl offers the golden red finish copper is known for both within and without. On its outer surface this is accented by skillfully sculpted brass accents. These take the form of scroll work that decorates the bowl’s rim and base, and intricate triple moon patterns, representing the Goddess, that run along the bowl’s sides.
I have to tell you the first time I saw the picture of this bowl, I fell in love with it. It was different and unique. I have always found copper beautiful and with the brass trimmings it just stood out. I was quite pleased when the box arrived and I got to hold the offering bowl in my hand.
It is the perfect size for small offerings measuring 3” tall and 1 ¼” wide. It fits in the palm of my hand easily and would make a perfect addition to a traveling altar. I have been using this offering bowl for the last couple of months and here are several different ways I have put it to use.
~ As a tea light holder. By placing a small tea light in the center you will illuminate your altar with the light that reflects off the copper and brass. The light is warm and inviting and just a lovely addition to any altar.
~ It makes a perfect bowl to hold many different things, sea salt, dried herbs, soil, small rocks etc. I have also used it to hold water, but I empty it right after.
~ It also makes a wonderful bowl to hold your written intentions. I would advise against using it to burn herbs or anything else.
So I am quite please with this new addition to my altar.
This retails @ $12.95 and also comes in the Om Symbol, Tibetan Dragon and Triquetra which can be found here.
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I am sitting here a month after my surgery amazed at how different I feel. Which makes me wonder how long I had really been ill? How long had my body been fighting of poison that was running through it?
I look back and think before my surgery, IF they had only listened to me and ran tests, would I have been able to save the organ that I lost? Could I have cured it naturally? I had been to the doctors 3 times and gotten the same answer, your fine it will pass. Each visit was 10 mins long and they didn’t even want to take time to answer my questions. It took me walking in pain and very sick for them to realize – She is sick. It was like a whirlwind of activity to get me in to see the surgeon and the operation scheduled. If I had waiting any longer for the surgery it I would have been in dire straights according to the surgeon.
It seems to me that they want us to be over medicated; if we are over medicated then we are complacent, a way to control the masses. There is a drug for everything these days. An example, I went in to talk about leg circulation which is tied to my diabetes, and dizzy spells around my cycle. My doctor wanted to give me anti seizure medicines and an anti depressant; well I told her where she could stick the prescriptions. I talked to my husband, we just decided to up my iron intake around my cycle and make sure I am massaging my legs, to help with the circulation. Problem solved….no drugs….just common sense.
The point of this blog is to NEVER allow your doctor to just push you off, NEVER take the first pill they give you. Ask questions, CHALLENGE them make them explain WHY. If you can’t do this yourself, then take someone with you who can.
In this day an age of corrupt insurance and medical practices, you have to be your own advocate. YOU are the only on in your corner when it comes to your health. Because in reality we are just numbers, dollar signs and sheep to take the first pill given.
Well my eyes are open; I will be fierce in my ability to know my own body better than my doctor. I am grateful for having my husband in my corner. I go to him before I even think about seeing a doctor….he has never been wrong.
Blessings to you all,
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Well it has been a while since I have blogged! Tonight as I sat working on the RavensWing website I was listening to music. Music has a way of bringing things to the surface for me. A vast array of emotions can rise to the surface with hearing a song or tune. My musical tastes covers a wide range of genres, much to my husband’s dismay lol So tonight I sat and thought about all the music over the years that I have used in ritual or just in quiet contemplation. I have picked three songs that that I never get tired of hearing.
My first choice is a song from Loreena Mckennitt I can remember exactly where I was the first time I heard it. I was watching Full Circle a documentary by Starhawk. Her voice brought to life the sacred and stirred my soul. Over the years I have used her music in ritual and just in
The Mystic’s Dream
Celtic Women – The voice
From the first time I heard this song it expressed things that I could not put into words, but how I felt about the world around me. The voice of The Mother that calls to us all.
And last but not least R Carlos Nakai – Desert song. I have spent many nights under a full moon listening to this song. The haunting sounds of his flute never cease to sooth my soul.
So what music stirs your soul?
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My mind has wandered to snakes tonight and how they always seem to get the short end of the stick. Snakes have been linked over the years with so many negative connotations. However the serpent has long been a symbol of the sexual and creative life force within humans as is taught in many traditions.
For myself I see the snake as a way to embrace my creativity, sensuality and healing. It is a way for me to bring my awareness back to my wild self in all her beauty and above all else “Loving the skin I am in” I have to laugh when I type this for the snake sheds it’s skin, but then so do I. I shed my skin, I shed the box the society wants to put me in, I shed stereotypes, perceptions and I keep on moving on my own path that I create. Sometimes it is easy and other times…not so much.
How do I do this? Movement, dance and enjoying the way my body feels when I move. Often times before ritual or just to relax I dance. I put on some great music and I let myself go, swaying my hips, being very conscious of my breath, moving my arms, throwing in some slow belly dance moves. Sometimes I end up on the ground , undulating, slithering and calling up the serpent. Opening up my senses, my taste, my smell, my mind I become the serpent. In moments like this I feel more at ease, more sensual and powerful.
Along with this dance you can include affirmations:
I am Creative ~ I am Sensual ~ I am Fire ~ I am Power~ I am Priestess
This movement brings me back to my center, and I land smack dab in the middle of ME, and then I am ready to move into whatever my focus is at that very moment.
I would love to hear how you connect to your inner self.
My first visit to Wales was such an exciting experience, I was walking into the land of the mists. The home of Mryddin and the Cymru people whose myths fueled my fantasies as a young child. Wales was more than my imagination could have ever conjured up. A beautiful rugged countryside that takes your breath away and transports you into the past.
One of the many spots that my husband took me to was Shakey Bridge as the locals call it. It was home to a fortified outpost called Cefnllys built in the 12th century and left to ruins. The path to Shakey Bridge was a beautiful walk, the bridge crosses over the river Ithon and you find yourself walking up a path right out of a lord of the Rings.
Tower of St.Micheal’s Church
The path opens up to a huge meadow of sorts which a 12th century church stands. We spent quite a bit of time in this beautiful place. The quiet sounds of the meadow that we shared with crows and other woodland creatures. For the first time in years I realized the true meaning of “simple”. As we sat on a log looking out at the countryside that surrounded us, I realized all that was truly important. This place gave me a sense of stillness and comfortable silence that I had never really experienced.
From this place I learned what it meant to be silent and to take in my surroundings. In doing so I found myself relaxing for the first time in years and opening up to nature, love and new beginnings.
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Imbolc Feb, 2nd 2009 not just Ground Hog Day…..
It is said the the Celts celebrated an earlier version of Groundhog Day, when the serpent is said to crawl out of the hole. Looking at it from a spiritual view, the serpent crawled out of the belly (womb) of the Goddess. This showed the world that the animal kingdom was stirring from their winter sleep, deep within the earth and light is returning to the world.
With the many pagan holidays the Celts have made their influence felt, as can been seen in the story of the Irish Goddess Brighid, who is the keeper of the sacred flame. It is said that her flame burned bright in Kildare. She later became know as the Catholic Saint Brigit. St. Brigit’s sacred flame was tended by the nuns until it was forced underground. For many many years the flame remained hidden, being kept alive by the flame keepers. Only recently with a rise of Goddess worship has the flame resurfaced to be shared with the world.
Brighid is also considered to be the guardian of home and hearth. To honor her, purification and cleaning are a wonderful way to get ready for the coming spring…hence our term Spring Cleaning! She also a goddess connected to inspiration and creativity.
So on this day we can tend the flame within ourselves; we begin to feel the flicker of warmth within as spring approaches, the quickening within our hearts tells us change is coming.
So wherever you find yourself this Imbolc take a second to light a candle and let its warmth and light fill you as you know that spring will be soon upon us!
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Just back from my visit to Wales to see my husband, I am once again thrown into the mundane reality of life. With him on the other side of the world, I am faced feeling like I have a lack of connection. But of what? From myself? The world around me? Nature?. As my husband so gently pointed out last night was I failing to see that my connection is all around me, and within me. The simplest of things can be my connection. The scent of rosemary drifting in from the back yard, the smell of my orange tree in the back yard or on a larger scale my connection to the land when I visit him.
He is right, each trip I have taken I have come home with a special connection of some kind. My First trip was the a yew tree in a graveyard on an old Celtic Site, and the Sheela-na-gig stone that so mesmerized me as I stood in front of her. Wondering what the carver was thinking as he or she carefully sculpted her. On my second visit it was Newgrange & Loughcrew that spoke to me in more ways than I ever imagined, and my heart sang as we walked along the hills of Elan Valley.
This time my trip was one of the present; city life. Beautiful Brits beaming with life and loving their lives. Taking time for the good things. Enjoying their food, their drink,their gift of gab and shopping.
But my one very special connection was to the stone circle centered in the park right around from my husband’s flat. I didn’t see it at first, for I was in awe of the beauty of the trees, watching the squirrels play. Then there it was, I didn’t care who created it. I was being called. I approached the circle slowing taking in the detail of the stones, how they were placed, walking in between the stones I felt the boundary created.
For so many years I imagined what it would be like to walk amongst the stones, and created the magick in my head. But nothing prepared me for reality. This was REAL…I could touch the stones, walking around each one until I found the one that spoke to me. Running my hands over the stone I was mesmerized. Walking back to the center altar stone to inspect it, seeing the groves etched into the rough edge of the stone. Only to have my husband explain later that the Ancient Britains used these types of groves that were filled with sand to help drill and break the stones apart. This only cemented the idea that this circle had been around for some time and not erected by the local council. I became a part of this stone circle. I left a bit of myself and the circle gave me the REAL memory to draw upon at some later date when I needed to bring the feeling into my rituals.
My path twists and turns as I grow, learn and expand. What I learned is that realty; what I can touch, taste, feel and smell…is all I need to create and manifest my magic.